


Lams Oneshots

by WhatInTarnation



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: But there's food in this so..., Crack, Gay, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Modern AU, Panic Attack, Storms, Tags to be added, Wedding, but that's in one chapter, eventually, i mean it's a whole fucking story dedicated to gay, oneshots, ongoing, shoprite, store, very gay, wedding ceremony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 07:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11755365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatInTarnation/pseuds/WhatInTarnation
Summary: It's exactly what it sounds like... Very gay.





	1. Thunderstorms

John Laurens slinked around the house in search of a 20 year old who went by none other then Alexander Hamilton.

"Aaaaaleeeex!" Laurens called, while checking to see if his boyfriend was in the fridge. "Leeeexxorooney!" He called again, using a nickname he had just made up on the spot. He pulled open the toilet seat to see if Alex was hiding in the toilet.

All of a sudden there was a deep voice rumbling, which startled Laurens a bit, but then he just remembered the thunder sneak attacking everybody within a 10-mile radius.

Of course! Laurens thought, the thunder! He creaked open the door to Alex's dorm, even though John practically lived in there. He saw a lump in the covers, so John walked over and lifted the silky blanket. He saw Alex's eyes dilated from fear, or maybe it just looked like that because his deep brown eyes blended in with the darkness that consumed him.

"Oh Alex!" John said, hopping in the bed with Alex. Alex gripped his arms around Laurens and squeezed John's back tight. He had been traumatized from the hurricane in Nevis years ago and never got over his fear of storms. It's weird, Laurens thought, how somebody you think is so brave and strong can be frightened of unexpected things. But everybody has a weakness, and only fools hide it. Laurens brushed Alex's cheek to get a strand of hair out of his face, because this was one of the few times that it was out of it's ponytail. Laurens removed his hand only to find it soaking wet.

"Sorry," Alex mumbled quietly, John could just barely hear him. Laurens was about to reassure his boyfriend by telling him that it's just thunder, it's natural, but he realized that was the same thing as saying the hurricane in Nevis didn't hurt a fly. All Laurens could do was wipe Alex's tears away from his stained cheek and just hug him. It was so good that their roommates, Laf, Jefferson, and Herc were out, Laurens didn't want anybody to see them so vulnerable.

Breaking down the barrier between Laurens's thought and real life, Alex said, "Every time there's a storm I feel like I'm going to lose you."

"No! Don't think that!" Laurens cried, a bit too loud, then he said, a bit quieter, "It's just thunder, it's not going to hurt me or anybody else."

"Mmhmm," Hamilton said, letting go of his tight grip on Laurens and wiping any stray tears away from his face. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this,"

"It's fine! You always look cute!" Laurens said with a grin, picking up Hamilton's glasses and adjusting them onto his boyfriend's face.

Alex pressed the glasses against the bridge of his nose and said with a smirk, "I am pretty cute. Oh shoot. I sound like Jefferson now!" He smacked his head against the pillow, which made Laurens laugh. The happiness in his voice cheered Alex up a bit and he chuckled a bit, throwing the pillow to the side.

"Come 'ere!" He said, pulling Laurens into another hug, kissing him on the nose. Laurens's cheeks turned bright red, and he hugged Alex tighter. They lifted the covers a bit so they weren't hibernating completely under them, only so that their heads were poking out from the top of the blanket. They let their sleepiness wrap around them and fell into slumber, the thunder seeming to disappear, even though John knew it couldn't have stopped that quickly.

* * *

Later that night when Laf, Herc, and Jefferson came home, they saw Hamilton and Laurens holding hands in their sleep, since they forgot to close the door to their room. Being typical college kids, they all posted photos of the two on their Instagram, captioned, "Do you ship it? ❤ ❤ ❤ "


	2. Guns and Shoprite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Alex are at Shop Rite (a grocery store)

Laurens strolled down the frrrrozzzzen food aisle of ShopRite, pushing the cart much harder than normal. See, a Hamilton in a shopping cart is not as easy to push as you might think. Alexander looks so small and angsty, but really, he's heavy and angsty.

An employee from ShopRite with a stern look stopped Hamilton in his tracks as Alexander reached out of the cart to grab a pint of ice cream, "Pardon me, sir, but I'm afraid you will have to get out of that shopping cart or you will be banned from ShopRite."

"Harsh," Laurens said.

"Excuse me sir, I know you're not joking, but your attitude's getting kind of provoking," Hamilton declared in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I can't apologize because it's true," The employee scowled, "Your friend's a scoundrel and so it seems are you,"

"I'm sorry," Laurens said, "What?"

"Look who's talking," Hamilton mocked, ignoring Laurens. "Now I'm going to do one thing that will make you regret ever stepping close to me." He stood up on the shopping cart, which made the employee flinch. Hamilton slowly moved his coat to the side, which showed a gun. "I don't think you want to mess with me,"

"Oh," Laurens chirped, "And I don't think you'll want to be calling the police," John looked at the employee's name tag, "Mr. Eacker. Ah, the fourth of July speaker. You embarrassed Hamilton's legacy in front of a crowd, and you decided to shoot his son didn't you? My father, a lawyer, will be so happy to hear."

The employee glared into Laurens's eyes and said, "You better watch your back," and stalked off.

"That's what I thought!" Alexander called into the now abandoned frrrrozzzzen aisle (almost abandoned, he and Laurens were still there). He sat back down in the cart.

"We're savages," Laurens said.

"Dang right," Hamilton said, leaning up and kissing Laurens on the forehead.

"Okay," Laurens laughed, "You don't seem like a savage anymore!"

"Anything for you my love," Hamilton said cheesily **(that's a word now)**. "Now back to what I had planned," He opened the freezer and pulled out 7 cartons of Ben  & Jerry's cookie dough ice cream. "We'll share," Alex explained, "We'll split the seventh container,"

"Okay!" Laurens shrugged, and bolted down the aisle without the shopping cart, leaving Hamilton behind.

"Hey!" The mentioned man cried.

"Oh. You." Laurens said with disgust, but then laughed and sprinted back down the aisle, grabbing the cart and trudging it behind him.

* * *

"Celery or dates," Hamilton sang, lifting the food into the air. **(a/n: referenced to treasury or state (celery or dates))**

"Ew," Laurens said, "Neither,"

"Okay," Hamilton shrugged, throwing the vegetable behind him, but keeping the date in his hand, "Laurens, will you go on a-" He held up the date, "With me?"

"Alex," Laurens said, "We've been on a million dates,"

"I know!" Hamilton said defensively, tossing the fruit in to the date pile, "It was just a joke."

"Nice try," Laurens said, pushing the cart. "Ya know what?"

"What?" Alex asked.

"Get out of that cart it's my turn." Laurens said, already pushing Alex.

"No!"

"Yes! Get out!"

"I'm not budging!" Hamilton said, crossing his arms.

"Yes you wi-" Laurens was interrupted by his own scream of peril, "Ah!" The cart fell over, bringing Laurens down with it.

"Ow," Alex mumbled, when a pint of ice cream hit him on the arm, but other than that, he seemed fine.

"Ugh," Laurens groaned. He, on the other hand, was forced into the shopping cart when it fell over and his stomach hit the rim of the shopping cart in just the right way that he almost threw up on Alex's head.

"Here," Alex said, slowly getting up. "Take my hand, and don't put any pressure on the shopping cart,"

"Okay?" Laurens said, confused about what Alex was about to do.

Hamilton quickly pulled the shopping cart from underneath him, but Laurens didn't take his weight off of the cart, so he completely fell to the ground, Alex crumpling on top of him. Although, they were really close, which Laurens liked, and they were face-to-face, which would make it hard for them to move. Alexander raised his eyebrows in a flirty way, which completely ruined the moment.

"And you just ruined your chance," Laurens declared putting all of his effort into shoving Hamilton off of him.

"Nuuuuuuuu!" Alexander complained, reaching for Laurens's arm.

"Nope. You ruined it and you ain't getting that moment back," Laurens did want to kiss him now, but it just wasn't the time. He swatted at Hamilton's arm, but he missed. In that split second of vulnerable-ness, Hamilton swiped Laurens over and pecked him on the lips. Laurens glared, but he couldn't hide his bright red cheeks.

"OHHHH!" Hamilton shouted, a bit too loud, then he said, (quieter) "You LIKED that!"

"I will admit I did," Laurens sighed, giving up, "But you don't deserve it," He hopped into the shopping cart and declared, "Push me, peasant!"

"Nope," Hamilton said quickly. He hastily scooped up the fallen ice cream and ran into the cereal aisle.

"No, wait!" Laurens cried, sprinting after his boyfriend, forgetting about the shopping cart.


	3. What Really Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quest to find out which is better, Jeffmads or Lams?

"Shhhh," Thomas whispered to James, "They're coming, get in the closet!"

"Wait!" James said, he ran out of the closet, and shut the window that he and Thomas had climbed through to get in Hamilton and Laurens's dorm. James crawled back into the closet and left the closet door a little bit open just as Laurens opened the front door. Thomas and James peered through the minuscule crack between the closet and the closet door.

"Ah." Alex sighed, stepping indoors, "Warm air without droplets of water falling onto my head," He swung his Dunkin Donuts bag on his side.

"See," Thomas whined, he often whined in situations where he had no reason to whine. "We're a much better couple!"

"Yea! We actually do stuff besides talk!" James whispered, talking to Jefferson.

Alexander took off his jacket to reveal a dark green sweatshirt that had a few sprinkles stuck to it. Laurens laughed and brushed them off, his hand lingering on Alex for a few extra seconds.

"Okay," Alex said seriously, ruffling John's hair, "I've said it before, I'll say it again, your hair looks so weird when it's wet! I mean, it's all straight and long!" He pulled Laurens's hair out of its usual ponytail, "Look at this!"

Laurens's face turned bright red, and he said, "No! Give that back! I look bad!"

"No you don't!" Hamilton exclaimed, holding the hair tie high above his head. Since Hamilton was too short for his own good, Laurens stood on his toes and snatched it, all while pulling Hamilton's hair out of its ponytail.

"Hey!" Alex cried, but he just shrugged and took out a new hair tie from his pocket. Laurens pulled his hair back up into a ponytail and stepped a few inches away from Alexander.

"Tommy," James Madison whispered, "I think I'm gonna sneeze,"

"No!" Thomas half-whispered half-yelled. But he knew there was no way of stopping him.

"A-a-a-CHOO!" James screeched.

"Ah!" Laurens cried, jumping into his boyfriend's arms. Alex wasn't ready for this, so he collapsed to the ground, sending Laurens down with him. They both fell with their faces looking directly at each other. They locked eyes for several seconds before Alex got up and pulled Laurens back up by his hand.

"What was that?" Laurens asked, letting go of Alexander's hand.

"Heck if I know!" Hamilton sighed, peering around the house. "Was it Lams?"

"Uh," Laurens considered this, "I don't think that turtles can sneeze, let alone that loud."

"Hello?" Hamilton called to the unknown intruders.

"Should we come out?" Madison asked Thomas.

"No! Are you mental?" Thomas replied.

Alex started searching throughout the house, and was quickly joined by Laurens.

"Hey, do you think the guy who sneezed was James Madison?" Laurens could almost hear Madison gulp at the sound of that name. Or maybe he did actually hear him gulp.

"I see your point," Hamilton said, thinking about how often Madison was sick, "But why would he be here?"

"Eh. I don't know." Laurens said, his voice drifting off, but he could've sworn he heard Madison heave a sigh of relief right then and there. Laurens started to walk in the direction he though he heard that, and came face-to-face with the closet. He swung the door open to find a James Madison with a runny nose, and a Thomas Jefferson picking his nose and wiping the contents on the inside of Laurens's shoe.

"What. The. Literal. Hell." Laurens said, traumatized by the rare sight, although he was starting to get a suspicion that this wasn't rare for the two boys.

"Uh..." Jefferson muttered, "I have a generic excuse."

"No he doesn't!" Hamilton called while running into the room. When he got back to the closet he declared, "Madison. Speak. Now."

Since James didn't have the soul to lie, he said, "Uh... we were kinda watching you guys to see which is better. Jeffmads or Lams..." He trailed off with a nervous fit of laughter.

"If you ever doubted that Lams was better then go die in a hole," Laurens said coldly. But it was hard to take him seriously, he was too cute for his own good, "We have a turtle named after us."

"Wow," Jefferson replied just as coldly, "I have- I mean we have a chinchilla named after our ship, Jeffmads. This proves nothing." Madison raised his eyebrow at his boyfriend. They didn't have any pets, but Laurens and Alex didn't need to know that,

"This is going to prove that Lams is better, and we ain't gonna stop 'til both of you say Lams is better than Jeffmads," Alex demanded. He grabbed Laurens's collar, bent him Laurens backwards, and kissed him. He placed a hand on Laurens's back so he wouldn't make Laurens fall over. (Laurens was balancing on one foot).

Madison quickly admitted, "Lams is better than Jeffmads," But Jefferson was still staying strong. In fact, he started making out with Madison, trying to prove that he could do it too. But deep inside, Jefferson has always, and will always, ship Lams.

Hamilton forced Laurens upright, and shoved him into the wall, never letting his lips leave Laurens's. By now Jefferson had pushed James to the ground while kissing him, although, the mentioned couple pulled away a few times to breathe. On the other hand, Laurens and Hamilton were still going strong. Laurens had somehow turned upside-down and was doing a Spider-Man kiss? Alex wasn't sure how this was physically possible in such a short amount of time, but he shrugged the thought off and diverted his full attention back to kissing.

Seeing that Jefferson wasn't declaring his true thoughts on Lams, Laurens started to pull off Hamilton's shirt.

"LAMS IS BETTER THAN JEFFMADS!" Thomas cried, "Jesus, this is a PG SHIPPING CONTEST!"

"Since we won," Laurens announced, "Get out of dorm."

"Now." Hamilton added fiercely.

James and Thomas scampered out of the house like mice escaping from an agile cat's grasp.

"YOU BETTER RUN!" Alex called as they slammed the door behind them. Laurens laughed and pulled his boyfriend into a hug.

"We're amazing," He whispered into Alex's ear.

"Say it with pride!" Hamilton cried, pulling out of Laurens's grasp.

"WE'RE AMAZING!" Laurens shouted, but then he said quieter, "Oh, shoot, did I scare Lams?" He raced to his bedroom and checked on the turtle. "Alex!" he whiner, "Did you do this?"

Hamilton immediately knew what he was talking about. He raced into their bedroom to attempt to explain the turtle flipped over on its back.


	4. I won't (Crack)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a joke... Please don't kill me.

"If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace."

John Laurens coughed loudly.

"Alexander Hamilton, wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?"

It was at this moment he knew

"I will,"

He effed up.

"Elizabeth Schuyler, wilt thou have this Man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"

It was at this moment she knew

"I will,"

She effed up.

"You may now kiss the bride,"

"NUH UH!" John Laurens shouted, getting up from his seat and stepping in front of Eliza. This caused Alexander to kiss him instead.

Alexander's reaction, you may ask?

A shrug.

And kissing back.

"GASP!" Angelica gasped. She ran up to Alexander, punched John in the earlobe, and kissed Alexander.

Alexander's reaction, you may ask?

A shrug.

And kissing back.

"HOW DARE THY!" Maria shouted. She bolted to Alexander, kissed Angelica on the cheek, proceeded to shove her away, and kissed Alexander.

Alexander's reaction, you may ask?

A shrug.

And kissing back.

Eliza's reaction, you may ask?

Let's just say.

It wasn't pretty.

Unlike Laurens, Angelica, and Maria.


End file.
